On the Go

I graduated college exactly 8 years ago on Mother's Day. Since then I have been on the go; going to work, going to social events, moving -cause we all know when we are young living in one place for more then a year is unacceptable-, going on interviews for a new job, going away for weekends to visit our college friends, going on trips because we are young and afraid that when we get a job we will never have the chance to go backpacking in Europe again. I have to say I have been on the go pretty much all my life.

So recently I relocated back to New York, where I grew up. I was in Washington DC for 10 years. I had been toying with the idea of coming back to New York for a while, just had some things that kept my stapled to DC, love of course. Ah Amore what it can do to you. But really, that was the only reason I was in DC, I had decided I would look for jobs down there and if nothing came along by May I would go back to New York and start fresh in a new city.

Well, here I am. since I have been back in New York I have had nothing but time. It is the first time in 10 years I have NOT been on the go. It is the first time I have ever had so much time for myself, to do nothing or do something. As one of friends put it, I am one of the "original dream teamers." Apparently an old school term for someone who doesn't have a job but has a lot of free time :-). I kind of liked the idea, for about a week, being able to go wherever I wanted at any time of day, sleeping in if I wanted -though really that never happened-, going running in the morning and again in the afternoon, spending four hours out Kayaking to no place in particular, going to wine tastings in Penthouses in top New York hotels in the middle of the day. Yeah Dream Teamer might be a good way to put it because I am "Living the Dream."

This made me turn my attention to the fact that I can't live this way forever, I need to get a job. So I would get up every morning and send out a bunch of emails to friends, cover letters and resumes to places I really wanted to work all for what? To go back out and play at the end of the day because there were no bites. I decided it was time to change my way of thinking, or just maybe my way of life in general.

My hair dresser had recommended a life coach a long time ago, at the time I thought therapy would be better choice as I was losing my mind trying so hard to figure out what it was I was supposed to be doing(LOL). But then I realized she might be right someone with an unbiased perspective could be very good therapy, unless of course you want the drugs :-). Only problem was I just didn't feel a connection with the coach she recommended. Anyone that knows me knows I truly believe in the energy of people. I can walk into a room and in an instant know who I do or don't want to be around. It is just knowing yourself and knowing who's energy fits with yours, but that is a whole other topic. In any case I let the idea of a life coach go.

I went to LA to visit my best friend and while there met up with my childhood best friend, who's energy I will tell you, will suck you in whether you want it to or not. Full of charisma that girl. Things for us have never changed, again we were able to just pick up where we left off. Anyway I keep going off in tangents, see this is how my mind works...She had been working with a life coach and she loved her. I thought hell why not. Now I know this sounds funny, but it goes with any form of self help, when you want a therapist, a running coach, a spiritual guide it is like going on a first date. You have to interview them. Your ideals and beliefs can be so different, how can someone help you find the very best you if you are constantly disagreeing with what they have to say to you? I instantly fell in love with this woman. She had such a serene tone (oh just in case I didn't mention, we work over the phone she is on the other side of the country), such a calming way about her I couldn't help but just want to hand her my life and say go, go wherever you want with it. We have had two sessions now, and I have to say it has been very eye opening, I want to cry sometimes thinking about things, but then I get angry about it and then by the time I am done with the one hour session I am so exhausted from having to think about everything all I can do is lay on the floor and wish it would all just be written on the wall for me.

In any case she and I are working on NOT finding a job but finding my RIGHT life, which will apparently bring me the job and all the other stuff. Which for now includes those four hour kayaking sessions, car dancing on my way to get frozen yogurt, being grounded which means standing in the grass in my backyard barefoot and any other thing a child would do but that as adults we forget life is all about. So in a very long blog I urge everyone to stop being "On the Go" so much and to take this into consideration:

Tao-

Stop Chasing

Stop Filling

Stop Amassing

Then when you put this in your head read The Tao of Pooh it will give you all the answers with a fun look on life. Just as I get homework with the life coach, I too will give homework, today on your Sunday, go out and do something a five year old would do. Yes you will look around before you do it and make sure no one is watching, then you might do it a little and then stop and look around again and then you might do it a whole lot. This morning, I started my morning off with a long run. A typical day for me but the end of the run was not typical, I pretended I was racing someone, like a little kid laughing I ran as hard and as fast as I could through a pretend tape. When I had finished and won the race, I did a stupid little celebration dance and put my hands to my ears and made a face at my fake opponent. Yes, childish she still makes faces. :-)